Blame It On the Cat!

April Fools Day is almost here…..actually by the time you read this it will be over but as I sit here writing this article it’s only the middle of March and I’m also giving thought to my April Fools antics. I’m trying to decide how to pull a good one on Steve and have him blame one of those stupid cats. I know you think the Dog/Cat feud thing is just a myth but I’m here to tell you otherwise – I hate cats. I REALLY do. All dogs do. What purpose do they serve?? I can’t think of one redeeming quality cats possess:

1) They don’t run to you wagging their tail when you walk in the door;

2) They poop in the house ALL THE TIME! That litterbox thing you guys came up with only encourages that behavior;

3) They’re sneaky…..tiptoeing around watching everyone;

4) They follow you to the bathroom and then just sit there and stare!

5) Jumps – claws out – at anything that is dangling – this can be dangerous in certain situations. Gentlemen am I right!!

6) Oh yeah and then there’s that annoying Purring?!! What the hell is that all about? You can’t scare off a burglar purring!

7) And last but not least……They bathe their young by licking them.

Even if you don’t have a problem with 1 through 6…..number 7 has got to creep you out even a little!

Please people….if you want a cat….get a cat but you need to understand that in the animal world cats rank the lowest when it comes to ambition. Their idea of climbing their way to the top involves your brand new drapes! Just something to think about…..I’ve got to get back to April Fools it will be here before I know it…
See You Next Month!
Your Friend, Jake

Richard Lindsey

Right on Jake!

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