Dear God, It’s Me Jake

I know, I know….religion (even talking about it) makes a lot of people uncomfortable these days but I would like to share a few thoughts and requests that I share daily with God. They are short and sweet (like me!!) but they are to the point (I know God has a lot to deal with). If any of this makes you uncomfortable – quit reading – it’s no big deal. Actually it IS a big deal but I’m not here to be your spiritual guide – I just write a column to help out and keep from having to listen to Steve whine about his workload and I decided this month’s column is about PRAYER – so deal with it!


Dear God:  Is it on purpose our names are the same, only reversed?

Dear God:  Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another?

Dear God:  When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it still the same old story?

Dear God:  Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a Dog? We do love a nice ride! Would it be so hard to rename the ‘Chrysler Eagle’ the ‘Chrysler Beagle’?

Dear God:  If a Dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad Dog?

Dear God: We Dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID’s, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. Why is it no one pays attention when the dog is spinning in circles in front of the door?!!

Dear God:  More meatballs, less spaghetti, please!

Dear God:  Are there mailmen in Heaven? If so, will I have to apologize?

Dear God: When I get to Heaven may I have my testicles back?

Jake Clark

PS If you have to choose only one to respond to – I’d appreciate it if You’d pay particular attention to that last one!!



I love it – thanks for sharing!


Steve Clark

Jake said to tell you “You’re welcome Kari”

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