Jake’s Christmas Wish List

It’s December….and in spite of all the asking…no in spite of all the pleading that they not dress me in ANY type of costume…here I sit in that damn Santa suit!

I’d like to take a minute to speak with you about a serious issue—even more serious than NOT dressing us in costume. Your dog and his Christmas gift. Who came up with the idea that it’s okay to wrap up a toy that your dog has been playing with for months just to have something under the tree on Christmas morning? If you forgot to buy us a gift (or too cheap) be man enough to admit it !  Yes, I’m talking to you Steve……a dog’s sense of smell is one of his greatest assets. What in the world makes you think we’d fall for that little stunt. I can smell a treat that you pull out of the pantry while I’m out in the yard sniffing a spot where our neighbors dog peed 3 weeks ago. I know the smell of my own breath on that “NEW” toy. I also have eyes and the fact that my “NEW” toy has been shredded in one corner and the stuffing is hanging out is not lost on me. Buck up buddy and spend some of that money!

In the event any of you readers you haven’t already bought my Christmas gift…….any type of expensive treat will work. Please no homemade gifts…..I have all the wadded up socks and yarn balls a dog could ask for (actually the yarn balls belong to those idiot cats but what lands in Jake’s cage stays in Jake’s cage!!)

P.S. On a serious note: In light of the holiday season I will take time out from the usual sarcasm and wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

See You Next Year,
Your Friend Jake