Wanting the approval of other people is a natural human condition. We all like emotional strokes and positive affirmations from others. It is only when this want becomes a “need” does it begin to interfere with sales success. If you have a Need For Approval it will affect you by getting in your way at the most inappropriate times. Most often, it will inhibit your ability to ask questions, confront when necessary, close for appointments and sales, recover from rejection and really enjoy selling. Overcome it by changing your mind-set.
Selling is not a place to get your emotional needs met. It is simply an arena in which commerce is conducted. The most successful sales people are those who approach sales from an emotionally detached point of view. They approach selling with the same emotional detachment that a surgeon approaches surgery.
Here is a Six Step process that we teach to help clients overcome the Need For Approval.
- Identify the self-limiting beliefs that get in the way. Here are some of examples: I can’t confront a prospect, I can’t ask questions that might upset a prospect, There are certain things that you just can’t say to prospects, It’s rude to ask a lot of personal questions, I am uncomfortable asking prospects about their budget.
- Replace these beliefs with new beliefs like: I am comfortable confronting prospects in a nurturing way, Prospects don’t get upset when I ask good, nurturing questions, I can say anything to a anybody as long as I say it nicely, I love to ask personal questions, I enjoy discussing money with prospects.
- Rewrite these new beliefs on index cards and carry them with you. At every chance you get during the day pull them out and read them out loud. Do this every morning and just before you go to bed each night.
- Find a tape recorder and a 60-minute tape. Record these new records in your own voice, over, and over, until you’ve filled both sides of the tape.
- Begin listening to the tape at least once per day for six weeks. After a few weeks you will begin to notice a difference in your self-talk.
- Read “Your Erroneous Zones” by Dr. Wayne Dyer and “No Ordinary Moments by Dan Millman.